Comparing love is inevitable. But over-idealizing other people's partnerships is actually ignoring that any relationship has burdens, dissatisfaction, and times when you don't like seeing Tokyo escorts. What separates a happy couple from a unhappy one is not the presence or absence of daily conflicts, but how they view and resolve conflicts. A statistic put forward by Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington who has studied love for 50 years may make you feel better. There are thousands of difficulties encountered by partners, but whether it is communication problems, money problems, parenting problems, etc.

Problems or division of household chores, 69% of all problems were not resolved in the end.

In other words, the couples continue to live with these problems. Social comparison leads to self-feeling unhappiness. For individuals, studies show lower self-esteem compared to those with more modest Japan. Feeling inferior may even bring harm to your health, and you are more likely to be depressed and anxious.

In the same way, comparing your own emotional state to that of others will weaken your own relationship little by little.

Justin Buckingham, a professor of psychology at Towson University in the United States, once developed a "Gender Relationship Social Comparison Scale" and found that people who often compare their feelings with others have relatively low relationship satisfaction and intimacy. French sociologist Pierre Bourdieu called this "status pain", that is to say, the source of this pain is not from our own absolute conditions, but how we are compared to others.

Fairy couples also have difficulties

Therefore, there is no need to draw up a list of "model couples" and work hard to learn from them. Not to mention the need to draw up a "resentful spouse list", take it out every time you quarrel with your significant other, and comfort yourself. More importantly, recognize that there are bound to be difficulties in getting along with people. If you see a perfect couple, seemingly harmonious and happy, it's just that they haven't gotten close to you enough to share the pain of marriage with you. Coleman shared his own experience. "My wife and I are emotionally resilient now, but when we first had our kids, we also came close to divorce many times," he said.

Coleman said that he was lucky to have a group of friends who were willing to share. After hearing about his early marriage bumps, one friend responded, "Is that already hard for you? Let me tell you about my situation..."

This kind of sharing normalizes the seemingly insurmountable difficulties in marriage, because it tells us that the ideal life in our eyes is also full of struggles.